Post a new dispatch

Choose what you want to send.

Latest dispatches


C Lane is a nerd and wrong lol
Hey guys, hope you guys doing well, see Lane. You said you dumped dinner every night and takes a couple of hours. We've been friends for a little bit. I know you disappear. Every once in a while and go to the bathroom doesn't take you a couple hours. I think you misspoke in the statement. I think what you're trying to say is after a couple hours, you go to the bathroom, but I think that food digests the next day. Okay. Now I'm being a nerd. Thanks. Bye.

TTS Dispatch πŸ€–
Hey Shawn. So I don’t know if this is anecdotal but 2 nights ago I was driving to the gym around 10 P.M. I live less than a 10 minute drive from the gym and in the time it took me to get there I saw 8 different cars pulled over by the police. I live in a good part of town so this is very uncommon so I’m wondering if they’re beefing up traffic enforcement in anticipation of losing some of their budget if Amendment 3 passes. What do you think? [Police Siren]

TTS Dispatch πŸ€–
Shawn. There is going to be a bag of cash left at your door. It would be wise if you stop talking about our associates. We appreciate all your help in helping us take care of the rats in our organization. [Gunshots]

Dump Dinner Esque
What's happening boys? So the dump dinner thing only makes sense to me in the vacuum of a 1-off special occasion, type thing the laugh at or have some fun because otherwise you're not going to replace your dinner plates with it. It's not as effective, efficient doesn't save you time or money. It made me think of Bonefish Grill, who also does not do this anymore because it probably cost them too much money. We used to use these big pieces of white parchment paper to put down on the table for every guest. And uh at the end of the dinner we'd yolk it up with all other garbage. We could fit on it and toss it out. And um you know what, it made me think of was women would take children's crayons and write the most perverted things and draw the most obscene things on these big pieces of paper. Not the kids, not dudes talking. Trash grown women were freaking horny. Get some phone numbers on there too. But man, y'all were tripping.

No hands, give me the fork
Sean you have obviously never eaten in a Moroccan restaurant specifically or most Middle East restaurants. You have to specifically ask for a fork or you're eating with your hands. Imagine Goose, goose with your hands. It's a lot of fun. Give me the fork.

Shawn you're being silly dump dinner
What's up, junkies? Happy today. Sean, I think you're being goofy on the subject. Let people raise their kids, how they want to raise their kids? You know, you say that all the time, you say that all the time. Um, me personally like we make tacos. We put them on a cutting board. We put all the ingredients in the middle and then we make the tacos right there. Um, not a big deal. Pizza. We eat with our hands because we're not special. Um, Burgers, we eat them with our hands. Chicken nuggets, french fries, all these different foods. We eat them with our hands. The only reason you're outraged at this 1 is because it's specifically something that's messy. Um, Like even when I have my kids, use their fork and knives for spaghetti, it still gets everywhere and we still dump them in the bath right afterwards because they're kids. I mean, come on, wobbly wiggle wiggle.

Eating pizza with a fork and knife
What's going on News Junkie crew, um, you mentioned eating pizza with a fork. Uh, we were doing an addition to a Pizzeria Uno. On a job site over in Kasumi. And, uh, they let us in me and my crew and fed us pizza for free which was really nice of them. the uh, the guys, all use my, my 3 Mexicans, I was working with all used a fork and a knife and cut the pizza up and ate it. Like they were civilized, And then looked at me like I was some kind of Neanderthal cuz I was eating with my hands.

Eating with your hands
Hello news junkies um as far as the eating with your hands thing goes, well, there's some foods that absolutely do not need to be eaten with your hands, and there are some foods that do because, well, we are American and that's how we just do things. There is a certain thing as far as germs go. Of being too clean. And when you are too clean, then when you do come in, contact with germs, you stay sick all the time because you're not building up your immunity. As far as, you know, playing in the dirt outside and Such and such. So, you know, that's just my opinion. Thanks. Bye.

Kid hands! Yuck.
What up News, Junkie dingo here, I just want to chime in real quick about eating food from your kids hands. I was a hollow backs last weekend for the October Fest and I was drinking some beers and and hanging out, my son, got a pretzel and he kept dipping the pretzel in the pimento cheese dip and hand in pieces. The pretzel around, I appreciated it, but honestly, I was a little bit like creeped out. I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't know when the last time he washed. His hands was. He's my son. I love him but

Plane hit by lightning
In the early 2000s, I was on a plane leave in Detroit. And it was a few minutes after takeoff. When all of the sudden there was a really bright flash and a really loud snap. And uh, it was pretty obvious. It was a lightning uh struck the plane. and, I was sitting across from the flight attendant and you can tell she was a little nervous. And then I was just like, wow, that was a kind of scary just like yeah in my 20 years of doing this that's never happened before.