Post a new dispatch

Latest dispatches


My dad was a master counterfeiter


Stinky drugs
Ceiling. You also have the option to do, none of the drugs.

Schmear?
Is it smear or smear like cream cheese on a bagel?

I've had three houses burned down. Couldn't imagine my house exploding
Happy day News, Junkie crew. So that house explosion was wild. I have been through 3 house fires in my life. 2 were a total loss. And 1. I 2 of them. I don't remember, I was a small child but the 1, I was a teenager. And the only thing I owned after that fire was the pair of shorts, I ran out of the house in at 2:30 in the morning, after the car, slammed into our gas lines. Sat across street, watch The House burn for 2 and a half hours U to all the gas burn out of the line. But man, I couldn't imagine your whole house exploding. That's ridiculous.

Hi, it's evil eye. Maybe that guy on that ride passed out first, that's why it was head, was banging around which killed him. Maybe he just fainted or the drugs he was on knocked him out or something and uh, know the the ride didn't kill him. Just passing out did and then he banged his head all over the place that it can happen. Anyway, have a great weekend.


CLANE vasectomy congratulations
Cain from 1 vasectomy, bro. To another congratulations on. a, the New Freedom to just let those frothy number 3s, go without having to worry about impregnating, your wife, it's amazing. Word of advice. Um, it's not going to hurt the recovery but by day 2 or 3, you'll feel a little, um, false confidence that like, ah, I'm fine. And when you go number 1, you're going to think to just let them hang. Uh, I will say that do not do that. Make sure you got that jock strap on, make sure you're supporting the The boys if you will because uh yeah it did not feel good.

My cartoon potato brain
Hey, junkies, happy day. Um, so to preface, I imagine everything in my head in cartoon form. So I'm a podcast listeners on, I don't know what you're talking about, but yesterday, you had called somebody a potato brain, like he always do. Every time you call somebody a potato brain, my cartoon brain thinks of a different type of potato. Sometimes it's a whole potato, sometimes they're mashed potatoes, sometimes you have a twice baked potato brain sometimes, this is sweet potato. it's it cracks me up every time and I think you for that

Old person sound drop.
I think we should make the old lady sound or old person sound the new wiggle wiggle, pop pop.

Suggested for you

Junkie #12273
Junkie #7
Junkie #25
Junkie #13822
Junkie #8333