I've been debating on whether or not, I'm going to tell the story all week. That's how embarrassing it is. But we're staying at Animal Kingdom Lodge and we're doing a big we're doing the big African breakfast, all you can eat mimosas. Uh, bloody marys all that good stuff, and we're filling to the brim before a long day at the parks. Before we hit the park, we're going to go back to the room on the fourth floor. Grab our stuff. So, we got to go to the elevator. We walk into the elevator, it's got like a mirror like finish haziness to it. You can see everything in it. You can see yourself walking to the elevator I look directly at myself and I rub my belly and I just go I'm going to poop at Epcot. We're going to look at my family, they'll look on their faces as I'm like, what? And not keep turning. There's a lady standing in the corner of the elevator that I did not see. And we have to ride the elevator all the way.

Long story short as a, a very much an adult. I, uh, got caught by the police with a lady in the backseat of my car. Um, nothing crazy. We were just, you know, Fooling around. Anyways, um, he, you know, wants to see my driver's license and he looks at it and gives me a look of y'all are, like, 32 years old. He looks at both of our licenses. Once she got her shirt back on and, uh, He said the Park's closed and asked us to leave and it was no big deal. So fast forward a year later, it's St. Patrick's Day I get pulled over just like exit, the interstate going to my house and the cop says, I've seen you before, where do I know you from? And I said, I don't know. I've never received a ticket in my life. He goes, no, I never forget a face. I definitely. He goes, wait a minute over at the park. And I was like, oh yeah, that was. That was totally me. And that was embarrassing.

Also, that's what Will Smith was talking about. Oh my God, it all makes sense. I feel like this is my embarrassing moment, just realizing that

hey junkies, I got an embarrassing story, I used to work at Dick Sporting Goods and um, I had epilepsy They kind of epilepsy where you just zone out and you don't convulse or anything, you're just kind of there. And I was in the middle of the the floor room. and I had an episode and then when I wake up, Or come back to it. I uh my my pants are white. I look down. And I pissed my whole bladder just out and I'm wearing khaki pants and I'm walking around the store as quick as I can to the manager's office with piss pants. And he looks at me. He's like, dude. What the hell happened? I'm like, I think I need to go home. I had a seizure and peed my pants. He was like, yeah, dude, get out of here.

When I was a student pilot, my flight instructor was someone who grew up in the same community in the same age, but we didn't really know each other, but I still considered him a peer and on our second or third lesson, he was uh, talking to me about the importance of staying focused on flying the airplane regardless of distractions. He told me the story about taking, uh, some girl. He was dating out for a night flight and the electrical panel went out and how he had to maintain the aircraft and find a flashlight and hand it to her to, um, illuminate the panel and do a safe landing and all that, and how important it was just to remember, to fly the airplane. And I said, wow, that must have been intense. I hope you got a hand job out of that. He just kind of goes, uh, uh, and we went on, um, turn. Out, he was a very devout Mormon, and I was rather embarrassed, uh, learning, okay? Know your audience.

Hey, new junkie just subscribed last night, and watched secret shows. It was awesome. I have an embarrassing story when I was in high school, I went to go sneak in and get jiggy with my girlfriend back at the time. Her mom came up. Tried to talk to her, and I had to hide butt. Naked, and my girlfriend's dog came and started licking my cornhole, and I was caught. very embarrassing to say I had a dog with my cornhole wiggle wiggle, pop pop,

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Okay, my most embarrassing moment, and there's so many to choose from. Um, if you remember behind the late, great Wet, n Wild was a, a lake that had a cable knee ski set up. I was there with uh, some friends and a girl that I was really interested in, I had snow skied for years so I was really confident that I could impress her. Well when it came time for me to be pulled off the dock, I forgot to lean back and went head first into the water, still holding on to the handle being dragged through the water, while my bathing suit slid down around my knees. So everyone got a good. Look at my Lily white ass. I finally let go and swam back to the dock and to a lot of laughter and Applause. Uh I never did get a date with the girl and to this day when my friends see me, they never let me forget it.

I was a cashier at a grocery store. While I was pregnant with my daughter and during my pregnancy, I had really bad gas. And I would normally just like go to the bathroom and let it all out every so often. But this 1 time, I just had to let some of it out. so, I farted Thinking that I, that I wouldn't be very loud. And also that, like, maybe the the noise they can't around us. Would cover the, what I did and I could see out of the corner of my eye that the man standing behind me. Totally hurt it and then he could smell it too. And I just stood there standing staring Straight Ahead working and pretending like I did not just fart.

This embarrassing story has haunted me for over 20 years. Right out of high school, I was a junior life insurance broker following a senior broker to a client's house for kitchen. Table presentation, I needed to get a hold of this senior broker but I did not have his phone number because I needed to go to the bathroom really bad. It was incredibly uncomfortable. So I had this bright idea. Why don't I relieve a little pressure and just pass some gas? Well, it wasn't just gas, it was full solid right into my suit and I did not know what to do. We arrive at the client's house. I asked to use the bathroom. I'm in that bathroom for about 30 minutes, trying to physically scrape out. Excrement from my underwear to no avail. Got as much as I could. We get to the kitchen table and I could smell it on myself, nobody said anything, but I'm sure they could smell it too. To say the least, we did not close the sale, and I'm pretty sure it's because of the dookie in my pants.