Post a new dispatch

Latest dispatches


Pick up the poop
well, as I, uh, Pest control guy. I can tell you this right now, the most annoying thing. That it happens to me during the day. It's going to a customer's house. They know you're going there and they know you're coming. And they don't pick up their dog mess. I mean, literally yards riddled with poop. It's I, it's disgusting. Pick up your poop people.

Dog poop in the retention pond
And his junkies. So, hey, first of all Sean, I'm sorry about uh Correcting your uh, pronunciation of Jaguar. But anyhow, um, I did want to mention, I don't know if you guys have ever heard of this before, but you've ever lived in a big development, um, after a rain, if you go to a retention Pond, there is numerous numerous, uh, Walmart bags and load. There's low density type of bags just floating around. And, um, I I, finally figured out why it's, it's because the people, uh, scoop up their dog poop into the bag and then they find a store room drain a store, a storm drain to throw it in and then when it rains heavily, all these things, get washed into the retention pond. So uh retaining pond whatever. So I don't know if you've ever noticed that or not but that's how that happens. I believe uh have a great day.

Here's how he walked away from the bus crash to go home and beat his wife.

Bus crash
Hey, man. The Jaguar in the back of the bus was because of the he was over about 4 foot on the driver's side, he was able to even open the driver's door.

Another mispronounced word
It is junkies uh once again you mispronouncing words, it's Jaguar.

Trump dispatch of the century announcement for National News Junkie Day
Today is a special day for many, many reasons. I'm not going to get into how many reasons, but there's a bunch of them. All of you, great people, listening. This is going to be the dispatch of the century. because today, I announced Sean Watson, the News, Junkie. National appreciation day, maybe even for the century. I don't know, I don't know. But big things are happening. Big things says stay tuned.

But why Shawn?
Hey guys. It's Kevin Sean. I don't know why you're so mad at me. But what did I do? Just because I'm at Courtney at Publix.

Evil Eye Airport fly baby
Yeah, you sure that wasn't uh Geena Davis in the second fly movie, giving birth to a little baby fly person. That's all I can think of. That's what it sound like when she did it. That she could get this thing out of me. All right. This is evileye. Bye.

Self driving
I think self-driving cars are amazing. I drive a truck for a living every day. A couple hundred miles. I went out to California hopped in a Tesla and it even knows the correct speed to go over a speed bump. I mean, I I felt like I was going 30 miles an hour and it just softly went over it, but it's, it's great. I mean it is it's what we need insurance cheaper because its self-driving. There's going to be less wrecks. It's going to take a while for everybody to get used to but it is truly amazing. Being able to let go of the steering wheel punching an address and it will take you there. Why I can work email, do whatever, I need to do as I'm going and then look up and there you are. It's I love it and I drive every day. So,

Hey, there junkies. So look, I work at a restaurant in Baton Rouge and Shia LaBeouf. Come in there. Almost every day he filming a movie down here, he come in almost every day with this man. Who's so scraggly. And I told my coworker, I said, Ooh, Child above picked him up a homeless man while he down here. She said, no, this is Uncle. I say his own Uncle, he need to buy him some clothes and a comb or something, but that's probably why he took his tail down there to the Migra and learned what he shouldn't be doing. Thank you, junkies, for all you do.

Suggested for you

Junkie #12273
Junkie #7
Junkie #25
Junkie #13822
Junkie #8333