Yeah, yeah, yeah — so the story’s exploded at this point. I hit this one on before it was a blip on anyone’s radar and I knew from the start something wasn’t right. The ‘I’m not really worried about it’ response from South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s wife was beyond bizarre. I mean, it was Father’s Day weekend and her husband was MIA. In the next 48 hours we heard a myriad of stories and excuses about where the Governor was, why he left and when he was coming back.

They were all lies.

Here’s a snippet from Sanford’s apology presser that dragged on for days…

I don’t care to rehash the ins-and-outs of this story. You’re going to hear about this nearly non-stop for the next 48 hours or until Kim Jung-Il pulls the lever on that next missile. But I do want to slobber over the sexier elements of this story for a few minutes because, well… because that’s what people are interested in. That’s why you’ve read this far. You know the basic bullet points at this stage and the only open question just so happens to be the best of the bunch — just who is this woman from Argentina?

Allow me to completely invent a BULLDOZER of a tale here, if you will. Imagine if this mystery woman, whom Governor Stanford had developed a secret relationship with, was someone well-known. Imagine if she was someone involved in politics in Argentina. Sure, it’s unlikely. Hell, I seriously doubt it myself. But if we’re going to create a semi-fictitious situation here, why not go big? What if Governor Stanford’s ‘dear friend’ was the President of Argentina, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner?

That’s more of a pipe dream than anything. But as a few details leading to the identity of this mystery woman leak out, they point to something a bit less exciting. Governor Sanford’s Buenos Aires lover is refusing any and all interviews and lives in this rather unimpressive dwelling.

apartment

I’m not suggesting the place is a dive or flop-house or anything. I’m just saying that it leads me to believe my dream of the screaming headline ‘DISGRACED GOVERNOR’S LOVER IDENTIFIED AS ARGENTINIAN PRESIDENT’ is fading faster than I can type this report. The local pen-pushers will eventually bother this woman until she gives a brief interview, which will lead to a series of interviews and eventually she’ll be side-by-side with Patti Blagojevich on ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here’. That’s just the way it works, folks.

Seriously, what a great piece of political theater this was. Mystery, sex, political shame — this story had it all and the press conference didn’t disappoint. Other than identifying this woman, there are a few other unturned stones. While Mark Sanford has stepped down from a gubernatorial leadership role, he plans to retain his position as Governor. Democrats (and Republicans who would love to replace him) are sure to keep this story afloat until they force a resignation. Chances of that happening are about 50/50, depending on how hot the kitchen gets. And finally, will any of the Governor’s staff jump ship over this whole episode? This is much more likely than a resignation. Mass defection of staff and eroding support in the state could give us an answer to the previous question.

Still, it’s only a story until Kim Jong-Il launches the next missile in Hawaii’s general direction.

Oh, how short our attention spans are.

Bizarre Twist: The State releases emails between the Governor and his mistress. Strange thing is, they’ve been sitting on them since December. Where did they come from? My guess is the same insider that sent the paper these emails tipped the reporter off who met Governor Sanford at the airport, triggering this whole fiasco. Someone on the inside wants him gone in a bad way. Also, his wife released this statement.

Update: Question answered…

It has been revealed that the Argentine woman who has been involved in a year long affair with South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is Maria Belen Shapur. She works for Bunge y Born, a multinational agribusiness and grain trading corporation and is fluent in English, Portuguese and Chinese.

Shapur and the governor had known each other for seven years before she became his mistress. She is 43-years-old, has two sons and lives in a 14th floor apartment building in upscale Palermo District, near the Buenos Aires Zoo.

Maria Belen Chapur